Baby Animal Days

We went to Baby Animal Days down in Kaysville in the beginning of May with our good friends from Connecticut, the Gublers.  It was a lot of fun, full of animals to hold.  Megan, especially, was in heaven.

The World's Most Expensive Band-Aid

The other day, Megan and Melanie were playing in a bush in the back yard. They were climbing up on one of its branches and having fun poking their heads out. It was pretty cute. Then Mel fell. It wasn't a surprise, and she started crying. I convinced her to come out of the bush so I could console her.
I brushed some dirt and leaves off her leg, which had a scrape on it. I then took her to the steps and sat down to hold her and make her feel better. After I sat down, I noticed her shirt was torn. I lifted it up and saw a scrape on her belly and then I noticed A STICK PROTRUDING FROM HER STOMACH.
This was a stick, not a sliver. It was sticking out of her stomach and it was bleeding. I could see that the skin had formed around the stick. I immediately took her to the hospital.
On the way there, Elizabeth called and told me her pediatrician's office was in the hospital and has an insta-care clinic after hours. We thought that may be faster than the emergency room. I parked and rushed in. When I got to the clinic, I lifted her shirt. Right then the doctor said, "You need to take her to the emergency room."
I bolted and was obviously very concerned. I was just praying that everything would work out just fine.
I got downstairs and asked a nurse where the emergency room was. She said I was in it and asked why. I lifted Mel's shirt and said, "I think she's impaled herself." The nurse got on a radio and started calling people in for help. She rushed me into an room and in less than a minute about 15 different staff came in. It was a mad house. I was just happy that I was there and she could get the kind of medical care she needs.
In the midst of this crush of people, the ER doctor came over and grabbed the stick between two fingers. He moved it back and forth a little bit, then he pulled it out. It was barely even in there!
Turns out, it didn't pierce the abdominal wall. It was only in the skin. I was so relieved. Then they put some ointment on it and fixed it with . . . a Band-Aid. Yes, I am that parent that takes his kid to the emergency room to get a bandaid. I was so embarrassed. We stayed for 30 minutes and then left with the instructions to replace the bandaid every day.
Thank goodness she is okay. But man, I don't even want to know how much that bandaid will cost me.

Doggie Diarrhea or The Unfrontunate Enema

Well, we of course had a fun and wonderful week with our beautiful girls. Maddie has thrown about 50 fits this week, which is typical. She is quite spunky. But the highlight this week began on Friday. I came home early from work to find my wife had cracked out her Mother's Day present. It was the charcoal BBQ grill she asked for. After some begging and pleading from her, I finally consented to getting her that instead of the bowling ball I had my eyes on (remember that one Simpson's fans?).

The smell of BBQ smoke got me hungry real quick, and when I went inside she was putting an amazing dry rub of brown sugar, cumin, chili powder, and curry powder on a pair of 1 1/2 inch thick pork chops! This was a substantial improvement on the regular Friday night fare of pancakes.

We had a limited amount of time because we were going to an event that started at 5:30, hence me coming home early. Well, Elizabeth, who is just so awesome, was hoping to be thrifty and didn't put very many coals in the BBQ. She didn't want to use too many since we were only cooking 2 pork chops. Unfortunately, that meant that there wasn't enough heat to get the pork chops much above room temperature. Lesson learned. Since we didn't have the time to do more coals, we put them in the oven. Ohh! they smelled AMAZING as the sugar caramelized and made a crust.

But, we ran out of time. We needed to head down to the Marshal White Center. It is Ogden's community center and has kids programs and other things. We wanted to go because we were going to sign Megan and Melanie up for some summer classes. The registration began after their spring performance which started at 5:30, and apparently the classes fill up fast. So we turned the oven off and left the pork chops in the oven while we ran down. We'd be back in an hour, so putting them in the fridge seemed counter productive.

We got to the center and took our seats at 5:45 or so. We were treated to not 1, not 2 or 3, but about 10-12 false starts. The curtains would open and a bunch of 3 year old girls in frilly pink tutus stood ready to dance. The music would start and the girls would stand motionless, then the curtains closed. Somebody was playing the wrong track. What I didn't understand was why they kept opening the curtains and playing that same wrong track over and over and over and over. Finally, on the umpteenth try, success! and the little girls danced away.

After that, we were treated to about 10 kids playing piano solos for us. All the greatest hits. Hot Cross Buns, Mary Had a Little Lamb, and for the advanced music lovers, we even got a couple renditions of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Maddie clapped vigorously.

Next, it was 40 kids in Karate outfits. Their teacher was an avid Star Trek fan. I know because he told us a few times. I still don't know how that fit into the program, but hey I ran around Korea telling people about Jesus, so who am I to complain about him proselytizing for Star Trek. The kids bravely fought dozens of imaginary assassins that fortunately only approached only one at a time and in slow motion. Punch forward, step back, turn around, punch back, turn around, step forward, turn to the left, step left, punch, HiYA!

I did get to meet a guy I thought only exists in Coca-Cola commercials and Sean Penn films. You know, the young, hip, twenty-something African American guy, who looks handsome and intellectual, toned and thin, with awesome dreadlocks stuffed into one of those bright colored knitted hats, a scraggly yet attractive beard, who is passionate for social justice and enthusiastically drug free. Well he left the Coke commercials and you can find him choreographing dances for at-risk youth while an overweight 9 year old belts out Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone" off key. AMAZING!

All the while, my tummy is rumbling. I want that deliciously dry rubbed smoked meat. But as the minutes turn to hours and the drama club does yet another skit, I begin to realize that I am not going to risk eating that pork.

The program, thankfully, ends. The teenage kid sitting next to me gets up. I noticed him because he was sitting so incredibly erect. His back very straight, and his head would make sudden, quick movements. It was like I was sitting next to a 6'6" chicken wearing a Star Wars T-shirt and a yellow Karate belt (yes, he was in the demonstration). He bolts, because he knows something I don't. There are refreshments. Thank goodness, because it's almost 8 and I haven't eaten since breakfast. I walk over to the table and learn why Foghorn Leghorn had run so fast. Within the first 30 seconds, a swarm of kids had cleaned all the cookies and doughnuts off the plates. I literally grabbed the last two for Megan and Mel. They were happy.

I then stood in line for an hour to sign the girls up for classes. Finally we get home, but the pork chops are too risky, to eat. We decide we don't want them to go to waste, so we gave them to Taft. He loved it.

And so we come to the title of this story. The next morning we are getting ready to go. I'm standing in the hallway with Megan and Taft. I had just put on my sweatshirt and was going to the door when I got a whiff of something awful. It was a little faint, but smelled like poo. My first reaction was "is that me?" I go to grab the front of my sweatshirt and sniff it. You know you've wore a shirt too many times when it is your first suspect for the poo smell. It didn't get stronger, so I figure I'm okay, and I don't bother changing my shirt. It wasn't Megan. And then I see, there was a brown stain on my grandma's white carpet. (Why in the world anyone gets white carpet is beyond me.) TAFT! He must have rolled in crap, I think. We throw him out and block the doggie door for the day, and leave.

When we came back we noticed that under Taft's tail was a large spot of pleasantness. The pork chops didn't sit to well with him, but better him than me. Today was cold and rainy and Elizabeth had compassion on him, so she decided to clean him up so he could come into the house. That meant chaining him up with the leash, taking the hose, lifting his tail, and while trying to keep 3 VERY EXCITED little girls from getting hit with splatter or toppled by the dog, giving our large dog what amounts to an enema from a garden hose.

He didn't like it.

Happy Birthday Megan!!

Megan is a big 6 year old now.  She is so fun and caring.  She is a delight, and I can't believe she is growing up so quickly!

Fun Things in April

Tulip Festival 2013

Happy Easter!

 What the Easter bunny left.  Russ's family had a tradition where the Easter Bunny left clues to where the loot was left.  The Easter Bunny continues this tradition in our house.

The Easter Program in sacrament meeting.  The reason I took the picture was that this was Mel's first time going up to sing.  She left the bench with Megan, but got separated on the way up.  The Primary leaders then just stuck her in a spot.  Go ahead and click on the picture to enlarge it.  I will give you a few seconds to find her.  Give up?  Well, if you can see Megan, look to her left to where two boys are standing.  She is on the floor, hiding, between those two.  Every so often, you would see them look down at her.  It was pretty funny.